I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
