Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
