What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize