I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
