how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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