Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
