my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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