Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
