I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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