she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
