somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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