i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
