im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
