We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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