Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
