I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize