Buhtt sex?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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