theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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