you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
