Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
