Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
