i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
