Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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