Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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