Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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