Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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