Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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