Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My first STD was from a foam party
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
