my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize