I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
