I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
