ya dads aren't the best wingmen
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize