Where is the hickey?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
