If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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