so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
