They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
