Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
