How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
