My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
