the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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