how can u be prego again
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
