Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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