i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
