Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize