just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
