I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
