I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
