I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
