I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
