I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
