Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
