Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm like, not good at living.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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