I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
