Can Purell be used as lube?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
