Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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