I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize