I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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