yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Life is so much better after having sex.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
