we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
