I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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