do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
