No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
