I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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