i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I am never drinking with the goths again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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