how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
