Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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