booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
