But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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