That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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