Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
