I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When did angry sex become our thing?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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